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John A. Bragstad Counseling |
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11550 Stillwater Blvd N Lake Elmo, MN
(651) 308 1200
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Change your Thinking! Change Your Feelings! Change your Life! |
Specializing in cognitive-behavioraltherapy (CBT) & marriage counseling |
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Real Help for Couples |
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Restoring Friendship |
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Good people can sometimes fall into bad patterns.
It happens over time. People don’t intend it but in slow, incremental ways distance develops between partners. Problems don’t get solved. Gradually, marriages start to drift and people in those marriages begin leading parallel lives.
It is then that a neighbor affair or emotional affair at work can begin innocently enough. Work can take priority over home. Extended family can exert too great an influence on a husband or wife. Alcohol or drugs (or hunting or computer) can become a substitute for close emotional involvement. |
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Good people often call it quits or struggle to maintain a relationship they are afraid has become dormant. We co-exist.
Couples will say they “gave it their best” or “really tried to make it work”. But what sense does it make to do more of the same … with the same predictable results? Working hard doesn’t necessarily mean working more effectively.
Marriage counseling is one way couples can make sense of what is happening to them so they can make difference choices to improve their relationship.
· Marriage counseling is an informed opinion about what couples can do differently based on sound principles and researched knowledge of how relationships work
· Marriage counseling provides direction, creates clarity, holds couples accountable, provides a safe space for couples to talk about their hurts, frustrations, sadness, hopes and positive feelings about their relationship. It can also be a place of forgiveness instead of staying stuck in the past.
What too many couples don’t realize is that:
· when couples are distressed we see only half of the positive things our partner does for us · couples wait an average of 6 years from when they know they are in trouble to when they seek help / of couples who divorce, less than 1% seek out marriage counseling · 70% of couples express dissatisfaction with their marriage after the birth of their first child · emotional affairs and neighbor affairs do not have to be the end of a marriage · distressed marriages re-edit their history as time goes by, downplaying good memories · marriage counseling is about more than recycling old hurts · communication is good but communication to solve problems is better. Otherwise, discouragement sets in and we become frustrated communication isn’t getting us anywhere.
Think of what your business would be like if you waited 6 years before addressing problems?
Marriage counseling:
· teaches partners how to avoid the deadly consequences of polarized thinking and win-lose conversations. · shows couples how to minimize defensiveness when dealing with conflict · identifies how couples “think” differently so they can manage (and enjoy) their differences · helps couples navigate the dangerous waters of emotional affairs or neighbor affairs · reminds couples of what they appreciate about the other person · provides specific assignments during the week to maximize the value of therapy
For more information on how marriage counseling can re-energize your relationship and rekindle your friendship for each other, please call John A. Bragstad Counseling / Stillwater, MN |